March 13, 2009

Today I'm offering free tips for restaurant managers and owners, that will almost certainly guarantee success.
But I'll start with a little restaurant humor.

A man and his girlfriend were out to dinner one night.
The waiter tells them the night's special is chicken amandine and fresh fish.
"The chicken sounds good; I'll have that," the woman says.
The waiter nods, "And the vegetable?" he asks.
"Oh, he'll have the fish," she replies.

OK, now down to business.
The closest I've come to being in the food industry is working in the concession stand at football games and golf tournaments down in Georgia, so I am -- by no means -- an expert.
But my wife, daughter and I dine out a lot.... and some things are so maddeningly apparent that I simply don't comprehend why restaurant owners fail to see them.

First, good food. That goes without saying, though I just said it.
Good food, tested by people you trust to tell you the truth.

Almost as important, consistency in the taste of the food.
What's more displeasing than the surprise of food not tasting the way you have come to expect?
Isn't that the secret of the fast food giants? It might not be the best, but you always know exactly what it's gonna taste like.
Once you get it right, write it down and keep it that way.

Next, and arguably most important.... really good and attentive servers.... observant, but not intrusive.
And they should keep tabs on each other's tables. What's more irritating than needing a refill on your beverage, or wanting your check, and nobody noticing?
Courtesy is a nice feature as well.
My wife and I were recently in a little cafe when my wife asked our server what the "vegetable of the day" might be.
The server told us she didn't know because she'd just arrived at work.
And she stood there.
I asked if she would mind checking on the vegetable.
She yelled -- quite loudly -- all the way across the restaurant to the kitchen... "Bobby, what's the vegetable?"
There was no answer from the kitchen.
She said, "He can't hear me."
And she stood there staring at us.
We've never been back.

And here's something else.
On the kid's menu, offer something other than the predictable french fries, grilled cheese, spaghetti, hamburger, hot dogs and chicken fingers.
Goodness, are we trying to feed them or fatten them up?
Believe it or not, my 10-year old prefers okra to grilled cheese.

And offer good sweet tea. We southerners like sweet tea.
Clean tables and restrooms are a nice touch as well.

Thanks, and there's no charge for this consulting work.
I'll close with another joke:

A man had just returned from the Amazon....
His friend asked, "While you were there did you encounter a man- eating lion or tiger?"
"No", he answered, "but at the restaurant next door I saw a man eating chicken."

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